There are so many things I know I 'shouldn't' do, yet I do them.
A simple example is coffee, I know that if I have more than 1 cup of coffee a day, I am going to be feeling nauseous and yucky. It gives me heartburn every time.
But more than once, the smells get me, seeing another person have a cup of delicious coffee tempts me... I always regret it even before I finish my second cup. And I decide not to ever have a second cup again.
One of my favourite definitions of confidence I've heard is, Confidence is doing what you said you were going to do.
So every time I have that second cup of coffee, my confidence dies a bit. Then I engage in a short cycle of regret and guilt.
In relationships, the same thing happens. There are things we know it's better not to do or sometimes that we must do. Yet we continue to do/not do the same things that take us away from the results we want.
Part of my approach to your personal brand is to help you get in control of your life and career, But it all starts with taking control of your emotions. That is why having clear BOUNDARIES with yourself and others is one of the first things I share with my clients.
So one of my own boundaries these days is to only have a cup of coffee a day. It supports me and makes me feel way better than if I have more than one. Another boundary I have is how much time I spend on social media a day. None of these boundaries are easy to accomplish, yet they support my life and my goals, so I tend to stick to them. The more I stick to my boundaries, the more confident I feel.
They are not 'shoulds', they are 'musts'. And they are simple.
Once you have set up your own boundaries, it's time to set boundaries with others. We teach others how to treat us. So you have to create CLEAR boundaries with others so your relationship can thrive. This applies to your relationships at home, with clients, colleagues, team members or your boss.
The relationship you have with yourself and others is really important when it comes to feeling confident, clear and in control. Creating boundaries with yourself and others can change things in an instant. And yes, it can be scary, and others might not like it initially, but I can guarantee you that relationships will improve massively.
My clients start having conversations with ease. Conversations they thought were going to be super difficult, end up easy and give them peace of mind as things are clearly communicated.
Good relationships and good communications = happier you!
I would love for you to reply to this and let me know if this resonates with you.
Do you have clear boundaries with yourself and others? Do you see the benefit it will have in your career and life?
Lots of love,
Alba Gomez is a presence and personal brand coach, keynote speaker, first impressions specialist and professional image consultant. Born in Colombia and based in Australia, she travels nationally and internationally for speaking, executive coaching, consulting and training.
Alba works with individuals and small groups right through to large corporations. She brings her client’s brand into line with their personal and professional roles, giving them the clarity and confidence to communicate and be their best. Alba uses a unique, results-orientated approach, drawing on her 14 years of experience with systems and processes as an engineer.
