If there is something I feel comfortable about and can do well, it's talking...
However, I do not like small talk and I have talked to hundreds of people who actually find it hard to start a conversation or make it flow easily.
So today I want to share some proven tips on how to become a more confident conversationalist, and even better, a charismatic one.
Find common ground. As human beings, we relate to people who are like us, so when you find something you can both connect about, the other person will open up to you and you will have a more fun conversation.
Also, remember that listening is super important. No point in asking a great question and then being too distracted wondering what to ask next or how to respond. Be present while you listen.
The Harvard Business Review published some of these questions that you can ask at any kind of event. Far from being inappropriately nosy, you’re looking for making a real connection. What’s more, you’re endorsed by Harvard. ;) I have added some of my ideas too.
Find out what they do for fun and if there is no common ground, at least you will stand out for asking something different
Ask what is an important thing you should know about them, this opens the conversation to maybe something unexpected and more intimate than just small talk.
Where did they grow up, or where have they lived, I love this one as I love finding out about people's backgrounds.
What have they got coming up that excites them, if they say nothing really, don't feel bad, maybe you can suggest that it is time to plan something even if it is little.
Who is their favourite superhero? An interesting one but that can have a fun response.
What's the best thing that has happened to them this year? You will make them think about something positive.
For them to feel your best personally and professionally, what needs to happen?
What risks are they scared of taking?
Any question that focuses on the future and the goals the person might have.
Talking about where you live, what you do and how you know the host will leave you in the land of the small talk and you will be easily forgotten as a real connection won't be created. Getting to a deeper conversation topic will not only have you stand out but will have you feeling uplifted by the interaction you just had.
'People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care'. Show them how you really and genuinely care about finding out more about them.
In my Online program 'The Presence Formula' I go more into detail on all the steps necessary to step up your personal brand and presence. Check it out here. You can get it now for 1/3 of the normal price!
Make this an amazing week!
Alba Gomez is a presence and personal brand coach, keynote speaker, first impressions specialist and professional image consultant. Born in Colombia and based in Australia, she travels nationally and internationally for speaking, executive coaching, consulting and training.
Alba works with individuals and small groups right through to large corporations. She brings her client’s brand into line with their personal and professional roles, giving them the clarity and confidence to communicate and be their best. Alba uses a unique, results-orientated approach, drawing on her 14 years of experience with systems and processes as an engineer.
